It is Christmas week and this week's VUI Top 9

It is Christmas week. During the next week, VUI will take a break from most things political and write Christmas related posts. Some will be political, such as our take on the now "politically correct" holiday season. Others will be sentimental and funny. VUI kicks off Christmas week with the Top 9 things you don't want to hear during the Christmas holidays. Here we go:

9) “Hey baby, when’s the last time you got your stocking stuffed on Christmas Eve?”

8) “Sorry about that Santa, but it is deer season.”

7) “Daddy, I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus, and Santa looked a lot like Mark Sanford.”

6) “Come down my chimney you commie fat ass, and you got a 12 gauge pump shotgun waiting on you. I will shoot the red off of your long haired, bearded hippie ass.”

5) “Merry Christmas from your wife and her attorney, sir. You have been served.”

4) “Dear little Johnny, next year instead of cookies and milk, could you please leave bourbon and your mom’s oxycotin?” Santa

3) “Officer, I am drunk, but my reindeer are not.”

2) “Just because you name your baby Jesus does not mean I am going to pay you child support.”

1) “But, Santa, Tiger told me being naughty with him was being nice.”