Top 9 things not to say on New Year's Eve
9) Sorry, Bubba, I guess I done went and kissed the wrong wife. Still, your ole lady seemed to enjoy it. I was just doing you a favor, getting her all warmed up.
8) Hey, ya’ll watch this. Junior is gonna launch my sparkler bomb right from my own hand.
7) Look Uncle Earl, Dick Clark talks like you do.
6) Will you guys put me on You Tube if I launch a bottle rocket from between my butt cheeks?
5) Damn, baby, that sister of yours is wearing one really tight sweater. I think I will get her another glass of champagne. I feel my Tiger Woods coming on.
4) Officer, would you like a swig? It is the good stuff.
3) Come on baby, nobody gets pregnant on New Year’s Eve. It’s a law.
2) Sorry, Governor, there are no flights to Argentina.
1) Officer, I cannot stand on one foot sober, much less after all I had to drink.
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
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