Top 9 things that are just flat true

9) She is cheating on you if your underwear does not fit.  

8) Nice girls do not have tattoos on their private parts that they offer folks to take a look at. 

7) Very few straight men leave their women home alone to have a two week, all male vacation cruise with a theater theme. 

6) A stripper will be into you until your money runs out. 

5) You can not join a good church after you are dead. 

 4) Life is not a Lifetime or Hallmark movie.  Chances are she will stick with a jerk.  After all, she thinks she can "change him."  So give up and find a sane woman, dude. 


3) A good woman will love you till death do you part.  A bad one makes sure you go first. 


2)You just can't ignore the IRS or a kidney stone. 


1) If you need your ass kicked, just show up and try to use the name of God to disrupt a military funeral in the South.  Ass kicking guaranteed or your money back.