Top 9 things not to say on New Year's Eve

9) Nikki, where the Hell did all these people with towels on their heads come from?


8) Hey, ya’ll watch this. Junior is gonna launch my sparkler bomb right from my own hand.


7) Look Uncle Earl, Dick Clark talks like you do.


6) Will you guys put me on You Tube if I launch a bottle rocket from between my butt cheeks?


5) Look at this picture of me, baby.  I got my Alvin Greene going on this New Years Eve.


4) Officer, would you like a swig? It is the good stuff.


3) Come on baby, nobody gets pregnant on New Year’s Eve. It’s a law.


2) Ya'll mind if I pee in the corner here.  Somebody's in the bathroom and its cold outside.


1) Officer, I cannot stand on one foot sober, much less after all I had to drink.