Top 9 things not to do this summer

We at VUI want you to have a safe and happy summer.  But, summer is a time in which the heat, alcohol and lack of common sense seem to  join forces to ruin the day.  The staff of VUI has seen and heard things that well, defy logic in the summer.  So, as a public service, we offer:

Top 9 things to avoid doing this summer.

9) Tie sparklers to a roman candle, hold them in your hand and light the fuse.

8) Anything that makes you say, “hey ya’ll, watch this.”

7) Drink to the point in which you go, “who needs tongs?” as you reach to turn over something on the grill with your hand.

6) Walk around the back yard with nothing on but your Depends underwear.

5) Drink to the point you tell your wife, “That gal down the street can really fill out a bikini.”

4) Shove a cop at a summer  festival just to see what he will do.

3) Put on sweat clothes to go running in 100 degree heat to prove how tough you are.

2) Drink to the point you actually walk down the street, in your Depends, and ask that gal in the bikini, “are those real?”

1) Get naked around fishing lures.