Top 9 things NOT heard at the 95th SC Inaugural

9)Security, I smell a couple of bloggers around.

8) Where is Jim DeMint?

7) Lt. Governor Ard, wow, you are indeed a lucky man. 

6) Has anyone told Glenn McConnell that he is not Governor?  Oh, Okay, let him drone on.  It is the price we pay for him not being in Confederate dress up.

5) Mrs. Beasley still has it going on. 

4) Leave your racism aside.  That guy sitting with the Haley family is smart.  I wish I had all that on my head. That dude is warm.  

3) Ample supplies of viagra and government power keep Lucy from moving the football.  General Eckstom "aka" Charlie Brown got his kicks in. 

2) Henry, sit down, Alan Wilson was elected to your office, let him take the oath in peace. 

1) Oh My God! She wore a white coat!