Again we offer things not to say on New Year's Eve

New Year’s Eve is a mixed time.  People who are glad to throw out the old year and welcome the new one often celebrate to extremes.  They often get drunk and out of control and say things that are inappropriate.  As a public service, we at VUI will offer the Top 9 things that you should not say on New Year’s Eve.  At least they are the things we hope are never actually said.  Here we go.

9) Governor, you need to be blogged by someone who knows how.  You will want to write a book after you have been blogged by the best.

8) Hey, ya’ll watch this. Junior is gonna launch my sparkler bomb right from my own hand.

7) Look Uncle Will, Dick Clark talks like you and Rick Perry do.

6) Will you guys put me on You Tube if I launch a bottle rocket from between my butt cheeks?  I will scream “Sarah Palin forever!”

5) Look at this picture of me, baby.  Forget Congressman Weiner or Herman Cain, I got your politics right here, baby. Occupy this!

4) All I am doing is drinking beer, deputy. Wal-Mart ain’t got any signs about me having to wear clothes.  I am a customer, and the customer is always right. Naked is right to me. 

3) Come on baby, nobody gets pregnant on New Year’s Eve. It’s a law.  I used to be in Congress, I know.

2) Newt is your real name?  No wonder you are such a jerk, dude.  You are the guy with one wife at a time, right?  You’re good, dude. Drink up.

1) Trooper whatever your name is, I can’t stand on one leg sober.  How in the Hell do you expect me to after all I had to drink? Walk a line now?  Do I look like Johnny Cash?

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Paul Harvey's Christmas Story

Enjoy and think about it. 

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Thoughts about Christmas and the birth of Christ

Historical academics debate the actual time of the birth of Christ.  Some are certain it happened in the summer.  Others are quick to point out that that the celebration of the birth of Jesus Christ was set by the early Church to coincide with already established Winter Solstice Celebrations. So be it. 

Whatever time we choose to celebrate the birth of Christ, it cannot be denied the impact He had or the nature of His birth  Christ was born in a manger of a second rate inn that would not have Him and his parents.  He was born of the Virgin Mary.  But, if one dismisses that as religious hyperbole, there are the teachings of Christ to consider. 

The teachings of Christ forever redefined man and the Western world.  Christ was the first to set value on women and children and the poor and the downtrodden.  Christ taught to treat women and children as human beings, not property.  Christ taught us to respect the poor and downtrodden.  

Jesus Christ never set foot in a great college.  Jesus never ran a big corporation. Jesus was a man who was the step son of a man who had people whisper about his heritage.  Today, the Department of Social Services and some Guardian Ad Litem would intervene and try to prove to us all this little kid named Jesus was not being raised right. 

But, God had other plans.  His only begotten son, born in the most humble of situations, would not only go on to remind us that humble birth has nothing to do with God's Will, but would go on to teach mankind how to relate to one another. 

The teachings of Christ have impacted the world like no other.  The good guys, such as Gandhi and Buddha, really can not compare in shaping the world in what it became.  The evils guys, like Bin Laden, Hitler and Stalin did their thing, but did not even come close to impacting the world as the boy born in a humble manger did.

Think on it.  A boy, born in the humblest of circumstances, forever changed the world and it how it dealt with so many things.  Truly, only a Son of God could do such a thing.  

That said, a lot is done, especially politically, in the name of Christ, that is nothing near what he taught.  Christ spoke against the rich and the lawyers.  (Gulp).  Christ spoke up for the downtrodden, the accused, the women and the children. Indeed, the birth, death and Resurrection of Christ created a New Covenant between humans and God, a New Covenant that was more understanding, more loving, more generous and called for us all to put aside hate.  

It is an indictment on humanity that so many of us will embrace Christmas, celebrate it, and then go on to do in our daily lives and in our political lives things that go against what Christ taught.  

We should be more aware of that.  The goodwill and cheer of the Christmas Season is what Christ wanted us to do all the time.  That is why the historical arguments about the birth of Christ do not really matter.  Christ was born.  He offered his teachings.  It is our hard hearts against those teachings and our fellow human beings that makes the world what it is.  God tried to help us.  Christmas celebrates that.  If we refuse the help, it is all on us. 

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The US House says "Bah! Humbug!" to taxpayers

Just when it seems that President Obama might be in real trouble, the Republican leadership in the United States House give him a chance to win.  

This time they did so by acting like junior high student council members in refusing to compromise to keep the tax cuts for working Americans in place.  That is right.  Republicans virtually decided to raise your taxes with their actions in the House.  

Here is how it happened.  The United States Senate voted 89-7 to extend the payroll tax cut for working Americans for two months so the tax cuts would not expire during negotiations. Thirty-nine Republicans joined fifty Democrats in that vote.    That is strong bipartisan support.  Then, the House leadership decided to not agree to the two month extension, digging in their heels, and thus raising taxes on working Americans.  

The negotiations in the United States Senate on the extension were worked out with both parties talking to one another and to the House leadership.  But, as habit with the House lately, when the goal was met, it was suddenly moved again. 

It shows how out of touch the US House leadership really is with people.  In this economy, fifty dollars a month here or there makes a real difference in peoples lives.  But, when you have total healthcare coverage, make six digits, and have a paid staff that defers to you, well, it is hard to actually know anyone, I mean really know anyone, who might miss a credit card payment, or make arrangements on an electric bill because of the defacto tax increase.  

It is a growing problem.  Not only in politics but in business, law, and other endeavors, a divide is growing in the nation.  One that has not been seen in decades.  Increasingly, people who are in trusted positions choose gamesmanship over statesmanship or leadership.  They come up with verbal legerdemain to try to seem earnest about something such as "job creators," but the truth is that they care more about playing the game than serving the people.  

That is why Americans are so frustrated, even during the holiday season. But, with Republican Congressional approval ratings hovering in the teens, this act of "bah humbug" might be the first step in the re-election of President Obama.  

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Why I love Christmas

Since I was a kid, I always loved Christmas.  Of course there are religious reasons to observe and celebrate the birth of our Savior Jesus Christ, but more tangible for me as a kid growing up were other things. 

First, there were the big family gatherings.  Those were usually on Christmas Eve.  I remember we would go to the home of my father’s parents around lunch time, load up with food and gifts and then go to my mother’s parents’ home a few miles away for dinner and the same.  I remember things that seem silly to some.  I remember the year that my father’s parents gave me a radio.  I remember the year my mother’s parents gave me a set of little toy cars. I remember my father’s parents having a little electronic bell that played Christmas songs.  My grandmother found it to put up again this year.   I also remember my great grandmother and how she, when I was a boy, trimmed her tree with simple things like paper and stringed popcorn. I also loved Peanuts and Charlie Brown and Snoopy at Christmas. 

Most of all, I remember everyone being happy, jovial and full of life, including those who are now gone.  Everyone got a gift.  It might be cheap or small to some, but everyone, especially the children, was included.  I remember my father’s father giving us bags of candy, fruit and nuts, a tradition he continued for us grandkids on into adulthood.  That bag and the little electronic bell are seared into my memory forever.  So is the stringed popcorn that donned the natural Christmas tree at my great grandmother’s.

For my mom and dad, I also remember the role of Santa, not only for me, but my little brother, who is 13 years my junior in age.  My parents might have forgotten, but I have not, one particular Christmas when we lived at Fork Shoals. My dad had been laid off.  I had my doubts about Santa.  I was a rather intelligent boy.   I specifically remember Santa leaving me a hunting knife, a BB gun, and a toy Pepsi truck that had its trailer filled with packs of BBs.  That is heady stuff for a young boy.  I am sure Santa left other things, but those stand out. That particular Christmas morning came upon the heels of us finding where a fire was as we came home that Christmas Eve from the family festivities.  Again, that is heady stuff for a young boy.

My brother, who is now a deputy sheriff, might not appreciate this.  I remember, as a young college student, standing guard at his bedroom door so that if he awoke, Santa would not be interrupted in his delivery.  Now my little brother stands guard over all of us.  But, he is always that little brother to stand watch over to me. 

I am also proud of another man, another little brother if you will.  I remember how Christmas Day was spent with our neighbors, and a man who grew up like a brother to me who is a half world away this holiday season in Kuwait.  The families would gather, have a huge breakfast, and 

that man, who is like a brother to me, and I would check out one another’s presents and play with things like the Atari game until exhaustion.  And, yes, I still wonder how he managed to kick a 62 yard field goal to beat me in Atari 2600 football.  It had to be a glitch in the programming.

There is also the young person I watched grow up all too fast, at least for me and her mother.  One day she was all amazed at the lights at Riverbanks Zoo, the next it seemed she knew everything.  But, I remember the tot on my shoulders. I helped Santa out with her as well.  Now, I beam with pride over her college grades.  And, she probably will not like it, but she will always be my little buddy, all excited about Christmas. No one else would make me search all over for the best Princess Carriage for Barbi.  That young person and her mom gave me the greatest gift: the desire to be better. 

God help me, I remember it all.  Everything. 

I was asked recently why I loved Christmas so much.  Well, the above and more are why.  Not only do we that profess the Christian faith celebrate the birth of our Savior, but memories are brought back.  Things that really make us who we are deep down are remembered.  Some might be even saddened by such memories of such things.  But, I am not.  I feel blessed.  I lived those memories.  They are mine.  They are Christmas to me.  And, they are the reason I find myself of good cheer and sport the colorful lights this time of year.  They inspire me to make more memories. 

Merry Christmas. Be of good cheer.  Embrace the memories.  

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Top 9 things you don't want to hear at Christmas

VUI kicks off Christmas week with the Top 9 things you don't want to hear during the Christmas holidays. Here we go: 

9) “Hey baby, when’s the last time you got your stocking stuffed on Christmas Eve?”

8) “Sorry about that Santa, but it is deer season.” 

7) “Daddy, I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus, and Santa looked a lot like Herman Cain.” 

6) “Come down my chimney you commie fat ass, and you got a 12 gauge pump shotgun waiting on you. I will shoot the red off of your long haired, bearded hippie ass. I got a Tea Party waiting for you.”  Then former Governor Palin was moved away from the cameras. 

5) “Merry Christmas from your wife and her attorney, sir. You have been served.”

4) “Dear little Johnny, next year instead of cookies and milk, could you please leave bourbon and your mom’s oxycotin?” Santa

3) “Officer, I am drunk, but my reindeer are not.” 

2) “Just because you name your baby Jesus does not mean I am going to pay you child support.”

1) “But, Santa, that blogger told me being naughty with him was being nice. Besides, I am the Governor. ”

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The 12 Days of Political Christmas in SC

On the Twelfth Day of Christmas my true love gave to me:

12 Tea Partiers

11 Occupiers

10 Reps. Pipin'

9 scandals a leakin’

8 Dems a prancin’

7 staff as lemmings

6 donors  syawin’

5 wives for Mitt

4 Vodkas served

3 years for Ard in the pen

2 bloggers love

And a failed Guv named Haley

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